Hidden Leaves

How much of our lives are hidden under the metaphorical blanket of snow...revealing only the serrated edge of our character that protects our tender, inner core?

We learn early on to protect ourselves, especially the core of our being.  There are many reflections of this coping mechanism including aggression, withdrawing, putting on weight, becoming overly active, learning to read people and their energies, and passive aggressive tendencies to name a few.  These all serve to protect us during various periods of our lives and are valuable tools.  The problem arises when these tools become our operating system and the default facet we display when anything stressful enters our life.

So, we sabotage relationships, jobs, friendships and family links because we continue to cut and separate - push people away - with our tendencies.  Unfortunately, instead of seeing the pattern we have created, the coping mechanism tends to reveal that we were correct for having kept these people and situations away from us...rather than realizing it was our actions and energies that created the situation. 

These self-fulfilling prophecies keep us from revealing our core, from embracing the emotional (unless emotional blackmail is your coping mechanism) softness and truth of the wounded soul who is hiding behind these other faces.  Healing comes first by being able to recognize your patterns and the desire to change them.  The biggest mistake most make is to feel guilt or shame for those patterns, instead of gratitude for their ability to protect us when we needed it.  Gratitude releases the grip and allows us to recognize when we enter those patterns and gently let it go.  It may take some time before our subconscious believes that we are safe and no longer need to embrace the old patterns.  Eventually, when it feels safe, the subconscious will support the new habit and way of dealing with a stressful situation that embraces relationships and moves through difficult situations with grace.